Goodbye Baby

is this the end? i keep checking myself because i know i only have about a week left with him. i decided to write this now because i didn't want to go through all these emotions when i had actually said my last goodbye.

my first day at work last year i made a couple mistakes. i didn't know we had to turn music on at nap time. i didn't remember the right diaper. i forgot where the crafts were kept. thankfully my little man forgave me for all and we had a wonderful time that first day. after that, we had a few bumpy days but mostly it has just been a wonderful dream working with the best child on earth. i know he isn't mine but some days i found myself praying that my own children would be this great. that they would be this creative, this fun, this vocal. there are so many memories i will hold on to forever.

all those things he says. when he talks in a deep southern accent. when he wants to snuggle. when he laughs hysterically at my faces and jokes. all our dance parties and even when he announces to all of starbucks that he, "is going to wait till we get home to poop."  i have laughed countless times at his songs he makes up. had way to much fun drawing "critters" and eaten far to many goldfish.

every ounce of me cringes at the thought of leaving him. he has made going to work something to look forward to and i can literally say that this has been the best job i've ever had. i can't tell you how many times i asked the Lord if he really wanted me to move because believe it or not, this little boy was one of the driving factors of my staying in lynchburg.

i am going to miss him so very much.

little man, even though you will never read this and pretty soon you will forget all about me, i want to say that you have taught me so many life lessons, prepared me for motherhood, made me laugh till i cry, (made me cry till i laugh!) been a light to my days and in general, been more fun than adults i hang out with. (no offense guys!) you make me think about what it means to be truly human and teach me not to take myself to seriously. and also the right way to play with trains. you make me miss my future children and i hope that you continue to ask questions about God and somehow in this world you find the Savior. i love you with all my heart and now i'm going to stop because i started crying in a public coffee shop.

three cheers for children because they are really a gift from God and i want a million.