abbey Deerest: Common Grounds Project

the day i got to college i was a blubbering mess. i cried all the way to lynchburg, i cried when we ate lunch and in the bathroom at the restaurant. i cried when we pulled into the parking of my dorm and while we moved my stuff into my room. somewhere in there my roommate walked in and introduced herself, told me there was a pool and got on her computer. please understand i was a 19 year old white girl who literally had two black friends and i had been homeschooled my whole life. i'm not trying to sound racist but i think both of us just weren't sure how the other would take us. we knew very little about each other. shortly after she came in my parents left and i sat there on my bed so overwhelmed i felt like i couldn't breathe. Janeil either didn't see me, or pretended she didn't see me crying over there on my bed. i don't really know how much time past but she asked if i wanted to go to dinner with her and i was so thankful i didn't have to eat alone. somewhere after us laughing hysterically over how salty the chicken was, she became one of my best friends. she was such an incredible roommate and always stuck up for me. she would laugh at me while i was dancing around the room like a crazy person. she would listen to me vent, and tell me straight up what i needed to do. she was loving, but never took crap. she taught me all about her hair so if i ever have a black baby i will know what to do. she also taught me a lot about michael jackson. i wouldn't trade that year (with all its heartache) for the world. she is a friendship i will keep always. here is a #commongroundsproject with Janeil we had at Panera this past saturday morning.

Me: Do you have a favorite number? Any particular reason why you like that number?

Janeil: uuhh, I kind of like eight? It looks like a snowman. That’s really the only reason I like it. I don’t really have a favorite number.

Me: What was your life like growing up?

Janeil: Life growing up was, what’s the word I’m looking for? I don’t want to say unstable but . . . yea it was good! A little unstable at times but it was good. Being from a single parent home it just wasn’t always easy and we had other struggles that we went through. But overall I wouldn’t change my childhood growing up. I think it made me, And the craziness that I am now.

Me: What are some things that scare you?

Janeil: Getting deep and spooky . . . Spiders just kidding. Probably failure scares me, um, probably not ever being able to do what I really want to do. Like becoming stuck and complaisant where I am and not ever doing what I want, no matter what the risks are.

Me: If you were going to write a book, what would you call it and what would it be about?

Janeil: Probably a children’s book. That’s more fun. It would be about a little girl, a little black girl . . . no a little white girl with really curly hair named abbey . . . no just kidding. Uh let me think, I think with the time we are in, something about a little girl finding out and loving who she is the way she is, with our culture being how it is little girls have it rough and being told how they are supposed to be and look, and what is right. I would call it I love me.

Me: What have you learned today?

Janeil: I learned that Panera has really good caramel lattes.

Me: What was the first thing you thought when you woke up this morning?

Janeil: Crap what time is it I have to meet abbey.

Me: What’s something most people don’t know about you?

Janeil: wait side note, I figured out what I am! I’m Scottish, Italian, Indian and straight off the boat African. Okay what was the question? (Me: repeats the question) oh I guess that could be it. That’s my answer. Also I am very sensitive.

Me: Your soul or your skin?

Janeil: Oh my soul. My skin is too, but my soul.

Me: What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?

Janeil: Oohh. It’s not in my adult years. When I was six I put a sleeping bag over my head when I got out of the shower, and ran into the corner of a dresser and sliced the little thing that holds your lip to your gum.

Me: do you have dance parties of one? Be honest.

Janeil: Yea, when I’m the only one at home cooking or cleaning. It’s on.

Me: do you have a hobby?

Janeil: Probably.

Me: what is the best gift you’ve ever received?

Janeil: (Holds up arm) my Pandora bracelet and all its charms. Greg gave it to me.

Me: what’s the best gift you’ve ever given?

Janeil: My existence to the world. . .no I sound so vain. Um, best gift I’ve ever given? I give lots of gifts . . .probably I bought my mom a pair of diamond earrings once. That’s probably the best.

Me: What is your dream job?

Janeil: My dream job would be either working in or owning an orphanage that takes in children and teens who have been victims of sex trafficking and working to rehabilitate them back into normal life.

Me: give me advice.

Janeil: Don’t move to Tennessee. I’m going to miss you.

Me: final words?

Janeil: Love more. Hate less. Hate only affects you, not the people you hate. Because I could hate you so much and you may never know it , it would never bother you only me. So love more.