i don’t know where to start this blog. i don’t think
i’m even done processing all of it yet. i think i will probably be processing
for a while so bear with me.
i know i haven’t blogged in days. but with moving and
packing and photographing an engagement and baby session there just wasn’t
time. and i was trying my hardest to live in the moment. saturday i packed and
cleaned all day and in the evening ran over to jon and nina’s to drop off the
baby pictures and say goodbye. i have found i am probably the worst with
goodbyes. i would rather not say them at all and pretend that i’m not really
leaving. but i was descent with goodbyes this year and didn’t really cry when i
said them. ( and i said a lot of them!) when i handed nina the pictures and she
gave me a hug i felt that little lump coming up in my throat but quickly shut
it down. we talked for a few minutes and then when i went to hug jon i just
sort of fell apart. i couldn’t look anyone in the eye and i just laughed and
said “okay see ya later!” in a really high pitched voice.
and then i proceeded to fall apart for about an hour
afterwards. (and their encouraging tweets probably made me fall apart more…) i
have really good friends. and that has been the hardest part of leaving
Virginia. i have friends in Lynchburg, friends in Fredericksburg, and i just
want to be friends with them forever. the Lord blessed me with really really good people to influence my life
and direction and i am so beyond thankful that he did.
sunday i woke up nice and early, threw a few more things in
my truck and got on the road. i sang very loudly, drank a great cup of coffee,
snacked on grapes and had many conversations with myself. i love road trips and
this one was no different. i made great time and arrived at my sister and
brother in-laws around two. my nephews were super excited to see me (yes both
the older ones! who even are you joe?!) and we moved their new train table in
and they haven’t stopped playing with it since.
ultimately i have a ton of things to do in the next couple
weeks. prepare for weddings, work on my business, network, find a church, keep
from falling apart… a lot of things. but i am putting one foot in front of the
other and eventually i’m sure we will get somewhere. i am glad to be here. i
know this is where God wants me to be.
i have to drive to the library to post on the blog because
my sisters house has no internet. so blog life will be a little quiet this
summer. i hope you stick around.
also Tennessee is hot and humid and i keep double checking
with the Lord.
is it autumn yet?
goodbyes suck, man. last year i had to say goodbye to some of the coolest people on the planet and hands down, it was the hardest thing i've ever had to say goodbye too. i couldn't hold it together, and the girl who never ever cries in public... bawled. like not just tears, it was ugly crying. but then i went home and found the quote "how lucky i am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard" (winnie the pooh). i cried really hard again, but it kinda put things into a better (and less hopeless) standpoint.
ReplyDeleteoh and tennessee is one of my favorite states (my dad's entire family lives there... and there is like nine kids, so yeah. it's a party!) but the humidity and summer heat. NO THANK YOU.
october in tennessee is a dream though. THE FOLIAGE, be still my heart.
on wow. i can totally relate to this post, okay? glad you're taking it one step at time, really there's no better way to do it.
ReplyDeletewill be praying for you, dear gal, on your new adventure. i'll be here whenever you can slip away to the library!
-Abigail
sometimes it feels so hard to move to other city or country because what we're gonna leave behind. i'm not good with goodbyes. ha. but here's to another adventure of your life.
ReplyDeleteGoodbyes ARE hard. Especially when moving to another place. I know that all too well. And living in that new place is a whole other hard thing, but keep putting one foot in front of the other, taking it one day at a time. Sometimes that is all you can do to keep from falling apart! Take it from someone who is a complete homebody, if you put your heart into a place, it does get better! And really, what's life without some adventure??
ReplyDelete