I'll be Real Honest


once again i am writing at one in the morning. this is all due to poor planning on my part this week. partially because this weekend was hectic with people graduating and trying to find time to spend with friends before they leave. and we also had a really great friend fly in from across the country that we were trying to spend as much time as possibly with. throw in there a quick trip to my parents to drop off my little brother, add a work day with a photo shoot at the end, then add another adventure day and you pretty much have my week so far.

side note: i'm eating peanut butter and honey on a tortilla because i'm out of bread. you don't understand my life right now...this is so hard. 

anyway, so today i woke up and hopped in the truck to drive cesia to richmond for her flight to california. ( i literally just paused for a solid minute so i could focus on swallowing all that peanut butter.) we made a special stop in charlottesville for carpe donuts.

other side note: i don't like to pick favorites when it comes to this tasty treat, but if i were to pick one, it might be carpe donut. maybe. it serves one signature apple cider donut thats rolled in cinnamon and sugar. literally a cloud from heaven in your mouth. i'm just saying...

so yes, we stopped there. we actually sat in a lot of traffic to get there. at one point i busted out laughing and said to ces, "the things i do for a donut!?" she laughed and told me she should make a movie about it.

we got to the airport and after fulling instagramming her with all her bags, i drove back up I-295 to meet my mom for lunch. i could get to talking about my mom here but i just wrote a whole post about it so i wont...anyway, we had lunch, we did a bit of shopping, had a lot of great conversation and we hugged goodbye.

now. i pretty much always cry after leaving my mom. at the very least i shed a few tears. i love my mom, she is my best friend. every time i leave a conversation with her i am uplifted and encouraged. and so today i drove to get my coffee from wawa and just about the time i felt that knot in the back of my throat, what do you know, but that awful (actually wonderful) dave barnes song, Good comes around on the cd again.

and i mean i ugly cried.

if you've never heard the song, its basically about him being thankful for his family and the life he has. this song has been a theme in my life since it came out and i've listen to it countless times but today, thinking about not living semi near my parents, and then just following that weeping trail down the, "i have really great parents and i don't know what i would do without them and oh my gosh i have the best life ever etc etc..." and i was just sobbing away. people were passing me and i didn't realize i was drive 45 in a 70.

then i rewound in and listened/sobbed again.

i have a problem i know. i just honestly need to cry it out sometimes. 2014 has been somewhat of a difficult year at times but for the life of me i haven't been able to cry about it. ( i normally cry over everything happy or sad.) i was talking to the Lord a couple weeks again in my quiet time and i just mentioned that i thought that was a little weird and i needed help with whatever issue was "clogging" me emotionally. that very next sunday was the sermon on lamentations 3 and after that, the tears have been nonstop. 

its good to remember how faithful God is. at all times. is sadness, in happiness. when we are young and when we are old. so i'll leave you with dave's wise words,

And it’s good
I got more than I ever thought I would
I can finally see how all the wrong turns and the heartaches
The lessons and the mistakes
Help me count these blessings like I should
And it’s so good
Every day’s a gift that I’ve been given
Every breath feels like a second chance
And everything I’ve done heaven has seen
And God just keeps on forgiving me, and I
Do my best to change what I can
... I’ve been given more than I deserve
For a past so full of bridges burned
I couldn’t make this better if I tried


  1. You need to deliver that to my house asap. I am in need of a sugar lift. These University assignments will be the death of me!


    1. wait. does school go through the summer?

    2. just kidding. thats not summer for you...

  2. i love your rambles and stories so much. (and your little inserts about eating pb and honey on a tortilla. fact: if you warm it up in the microwave, it's instantly 10x better.)
    also, i think i have a new favorite song now.

    1. marcia! good tip! and riiiight?!?! that song is the best! i love dave a whole heck of a lot. he has so many gems.


  3. Living away from parents is SO hard! Not even exaggerating- I was just lamenting to God about how I missed my mom. (not to mention all the other things I miss like people, land, sky, prairie flowers...) I miss her encouragement and comfort- she's just the BEST comforter for me. And then I head over and read this! Sounds like we are in a similar space. Those words are real good. I totally get why you were sobbing- I've been crying at everything lately! I like reading your thoughts- they make me feel like there's at least one person who gets my longing for home :)

  4. oh my goodness jenni you have me crying over here!! its so good to know there are others like me haha!

    thank you for the encouragement!